This blog is dedicated to the work of Jesus. My prayer now and will continue to be that you see and understand the work of the Holy Spirit. I was so excited to begin writing that I needed to use the restroom and spend time with the Holy Spirit to give me the words to write. You may or may not know, but when I get excited, I tend to say gibberish and speak all over the place. My prayer before writing this was that the Holy Spirit would give me the letters to type and that you, reader, would not only understand, but would see AND experience the conviction, joy, overwhelming peace, and the unconditional grace that I've experienced! Only the Holy Spirit can interpret that to you; because He is in both you and me (if you have believed and confessed Jesus as Lord and Savior). I can say all the words I want and have the best posts, but without the Holy Spirit, it would mean nothing. If I have the most knowledge when it comes to writing, but I have not love, I am nothing. But I have God and love and this blog is for Him and Him alone.
For those of you who don't know, I was in California for 4 months. September through the end of December. I felt called to move out there. It was in August when I was working with Woodmen Nissan that I was in a rough spot where my mom had been in California for many months already and I was in Colorado working full time. At this time, I was struggling with debt and making just under what my bills were demanding. I admit that I could have been better with my budget. Because of the full time hours at Nissan, I had to quit working with Vector Marketing/Cutco since I worked 9-6 and by the time I got home to eat and get a break, it was 7 or so. Not many people would want to meet for a demonstration after 7. My life was broke in many areas and the biggest was that I didn't hold on to my faith and much as I should have. I would wake up just in time to get ready and head to work and by the time I was done with work, I would eat dinner, take a shower and play video games. That was my lifestyle. Amazingly enough, Jesus knew I loved being spontaneous. I had already been planning a trip for a Cutco conference because everything about it would make a huge impact in my life. The people, networking, power personal growth messages, and the amazing hotels rooms that we would stay in.
I believe it was on a Tuesday that my mom called me. I was at work making sure the car lot was maintained and looking in good shape. I hated talking on the phone at work because I didn't want to get in trouble, but I needed to talk with my mom about what was going on. During the last few months, mother told me how great it was to spend time with her parents, yet at the same time, it was tiring and overwhelming her. Again, I was planning a trip to Texas for the conference so as she brought up the subject of the possibility of me coming out, I became fired up. At first, I said yes! After thinking for a few more seconds, I told her I would pray about it and brainstorm the idea. I had to make sure that it was what God wanted before I started packing and telling everyone. Believe me, I've had situations happen where I thought the situation was what God wanted and it fell through. There are times when we go through the motions for certain things and realize that it's not what the end goal was.
During the spring time, I was hanging out with my brother Peter consistently and I was convinced that we were doing to Texas to spread joy among our piers and thought that Peter was convinced too. When I found out he was accepted in to Young Americans in Orange County, California, I shifted my focus to going there. Young Americans is a dance school that travels around the country with all kinds of dance performances. I was super stoked for Peter. I knew that his dream was to dance around the country and eventually make it a living. Aside from the celebrating, he had to come up with a deposit in 2 weeks in order to begin the process with YA. He didn't know where the money was going to come from. Other concerns and he and I faced were finances for room and board, food, tuition, and for me, a job. We had to come up with all that in 2 months. I reaffirmed Peter that I could take out a loan for the both of us. I know it wasn't the best decision but it was considered "college" for him. The story came down to him quitting Starbucks at the time he was transferring his barista skills to Cafe Velo. I may be correct or not when I say that Starbucks paid him for the last 4 weeks in one paycheck while he was expecting pay from the last 2. That amount was just enough for the deposit with very little left over for food. He told me he didn't know how he was going to make it, but knew that God would provide. I don't want to get into too much detail because this is his story to tell. I do want to mention a few more details. One of the moms that he knew through dance had blessed him in the past with groceries and days after our conversation, this lady had blessed him with more groceries. God is GOOD! I could not explain how great I felt to see the favor of God pour over this man. To make the story short, we ended up not going to Texas or California. There are certain reasons why... You'll have to ask me. Moreover, ask Peter. He had a beautiful prize waiting for him at the end of the year.
That is why you shouldn't tell everyone when an exciting idea pops in your head. Unless, you want to explain to everyone that you didn't leave the state after you told them you were. Now, I don't know the full answer as to why we didn't go, but I am glad that God has given me the gift of optimism because when one door closes, there are always many more that will open.
This was a season of knocking on doors and finding out which ones opened. The first two doors didn't open for me. The third was San Jose, California. That door opened freely and with open arms (that is, if doors had arms).
This is the beginning of a series because there is so much to it that I don't want to leave out. It's such an amazing story to look back at and see the blessings that God had placed in my path. The next post will be about my experience going to Texas!
Thank you so much for reading! Again, I pray that you will understand and experience the emotions and be in the journey with me. I really do hope that you will see everything that God has been for me as He has been with me so that you can know Him on a deeper level and be aware of who He is.
"I'm more than you dreamed
More than you understand
Your days and your times
Were destined for our dance
I catch all your tears
Burn your name on my heart
Be still and trust my plan
I'm more than you think I am"
Danny Gokey
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